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-Don’t bother telling your problems to anyone - 20 percent don’t care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.-Doesn’t expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?-Take my advice — I’m not using it.-I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.-Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.-Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.-I’ll bet you $4,567 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.-Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.-Ever stop to think and forget to start again?-My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver’s test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.-Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.-Give me ambiguity or give me something else.-He who laughs last thinks slowest.-Is it wrong that only. “But Becca...” “Trust me on this,” she said, as she gave me a kiss on my right cheek. “You're going to have a very long night ahead of you. A busy night with little time for rest. Take my word. Tomorrow night is going to be filled with lots of cheerleader pleasure.” The following day arrived swiftly. It was 7:15 P.M. when I arrived at the Tremont football stadium. I pulled out the note that Becca had given me. I followed Becca's instructions to the letter and immediately found my seat. I sat back in my seat and watched the football game as it unfolded. Unfortunately, Tremont's football team was nowhere near as good or appealing as their cheerleaders were. The Annapolis Avalanche were in town, and they had no intention of going easy on them. It was 8:45 P.M. when halftime arrived. The Tremont Tigers were down 31-0 at the half. However, I didn't really care about the football team's performance. I was here to see Tremont's cheerleaders in action. I watched from the front row.
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